On Language

I post quite a bit about character development and plot on this blog because these are critical factors in whether or not a book is believable, enjoyable, etc.

However, language--or how your story is told--is also v. important.

I'm reading a novel right now at the behest of my sister-in-law, who thrust the book at me last weekend and said: "This book is awful. Read it so we can discuss."

*sigh*

I know how hard writers work at their craft and how difficult it is to tell a story that resonates, so I was really hesitant to go into this book with the pre-conceived idea that it Just Doesn't Work. It did, after all, go through an agent and editors and was published by a reputable publisher. It can be grabbed from the shelves of any major retailer as of this writing, and a quick check of the reviews shows that it did, in fact, resonate with *some* people.

(Don't try to guess which book it is. It will not show up on my Goodreads list.) ;)

At any rate, there are, in fact, problems with plot, character development, and telling over showing (also: SO MANY coincidences), but one of the main problems is the language. 

This is a historical novel set near the turn of the 20th century. The main characters are European. For discussion's sake, let's pretend they're Italian (they aren't).

The issues with the language are numerous. 

First, the characters don't really sound Italian. Every so often the writer will toss in an italicized Italian word or phrase, or will insert some English-Italian slang; otherwise, the "voice" just isn't there. This means those words and phrases also tend to draw unnecessary attention to themselves. A few, in particular, are repeated ad nauseam. Every time I see one it's: "Oh, yeah. These characters are Italian." This is usually followed by: "Why do they say this word so much?"

The next problem is that these Italian speakers don't sound like they're from the turn of the 20th century. In one instance, a girl says "totally." Maybe they used this word back then--I don't know--but because it's so common today, it's a bit jarring to see it in a historical work. To some degree, I do expect a historical piece to have a more elevated and formal style of writing (which this story does, in fact, call for).

There are also trite/overused expressions and cliches that don't seem to fit the historical/Italian vibe, either.  

Every few pages I'm being pulled from the story. I can't fully immerse or lose myself in the narration because the language keeps calling attention to itself because it feels so unnatural. 

So, writer friends: 

How is your story's message communicated? 

Is it believable? Is it convincing?

Every language and culture has its own nuances, and the dialogue and prose need to sound *exactly* right for maximum believability. The voice of a regency romance should not mirror a contemporary one. A story set in the American South should not sound like a story set on the streets of London.

And we can go further: a story set in Georgia (American South) should not read exactly like a story set in Mississippi (also American South).

Plot and character development are important, but so is language: the dialogue, the word choice, the turns of phrasing.

What does this mean for writers?

It's important for us to do our research. Every word on the page should reflect the period, location, and genre in which we are writing.

Read, revise, read again, revise, read out loud, and, when the words stop making sense, enlist the help of a beta reader or two. They should be able to pinpoint any places where the tone, phrasing, conversation, etc. don't quite match their intention. 

And always. . . .

Be Brilliant!

~Katie~

Plot Problems

According to Frank O'Connor, a story requires three things.

The first is exposition--who the story is about. The second is development--the inciting incident and what's at stake. The third is drama--what the main character is working toward. 

If any of these three key ideas can't be reduced to a single, clarifying sentence, then you may have a plotting problem.

If there is no clearly defined main character, then the exposition needs work. If there is no inciting incident or disruption of routine, then the development needs more attention. If the drama seems bland or vague, then there's an issue with conflict and motivation. 

If you can summarize these three key ideas in a compelling way, then your story is, in fact, moving in the right direction.

An Example

Exposition: Trent is a troubled young man from a well-to-do family.

Development: He is forced into community service with a girl from the wrong side of the tracks who may have killed her best friend.

Drama: If he can find out the truth about what happened that night, he might be able to prove her innocent.

Plug in the details of your WIP to see if it passes Frank O'Connor's plot test. 

And always: Be Brilliant!

~Katie~

The Chance Encounter

If all stories begin with a disruption of routine, then the "chance encounter" is considered one of those potential disruptions. 

A chance encounter occurs when someone from your protagonist's past waltzes back into their world. He has not seen her for years, but, suddenly, there she is.

The chance encounter sets up a fairly deep story, automatically pulling problems from the past into the present. Not only will the reader need to know what happened before (i.e. how they met, some of their experiences together, what drove them apart, etc.), but also how they have changed in the weeks, months, and years it's been since they last saw each other. 

This feeds directly into the plot of the narrative, of course, or how the two of them will address and work through their shared history, and the baggage that may come along with this, in order to move forward. 

Be Brilliant!

~Katie~

The Disruption of Order

All stories begin and end in the same general manner: with a disruption and restoration (or acceptance) of order.

So, as writers, one of the first things we need to establish is how things were before versus how they have been, or will be, disrupted (as well as the subsequent effects of those disruptions).

Ideally, this will take place in the first chapter (or two), where you will also introduce the story question (a variation on "what's going to happen?"). 

Why does this work?

Because when your characters have a routine that is disrupted, they are forced to restore order. 

They may eventually accept the new disruption, but not before actively working against it, which will be most apparent in the choices they make and the actions they take. 

In The Guardian, Genesis is in a car accident that spurs Seth (her guardian angel) to step out of the shadows and into her world.

In Cross My Heart, Jaden is assigned a partner for a school project, forcing her to work with (and get to know) Parker.

In All I Never Wanted, Trent is required to spend time with Summer (community service) as she serves out her own sentence in rehab.

In All I Never Needed, Harley is unexpectedly sent to live with her dad, upending both her life and River's.

The stakes build from here, of course, as the plot progressively thickens from chapter to chapter, but that first initial push--where a carefully ordered world falls into chaos--is needed to set your unique story in motion. 

Be Brilliant!

~Katie~

Eliminating the Info Dumps

It can be tempting for new writers to want to begin a novel with a resume's worth of information about the main character.

This is what we refer to as the "info dump."

First chapters from new"ish" writers tend to overly present backstory and minutiae--details like the color of a character's hair or eyes, how she feels about her brother (whether or not he's an important part of the story), and the fifth-grade teacher who made her want to pursue a degree in veterinary science. 

After all, the reader needs context--to know more about who a character is and what she's been through--to better understand what she's about to face.

The problem, though, is that these often read like a laundry list of information and experiences and rarely kick-start a story. They contain the kind of writing readers tend to gloss over and skim to get to the more "exciting" parts.

The remedy?

1. Write the first three chapters of your story, then toss out the first. Find a way to incorporate the information presented in that first chapter into later chapters.

If the action does happen to begin in chapter one, then toss every paragraph leading up to that moment. 

or. . . .

2. Keep in mind from the moment you open that blank document that it's important to begin your story as close to the action as possible, then intersperse the backstory and character details as they become relevant.

An author will *always* know more about a character than should appear in an actual novel, but just because *we* know that her fifth-grade teacher had a profound influence on a character doesn't mean the reader needs to know this (unless he does). 

And remember: rather than telling (i.e. presenting that resume or profile directly to the reader), it's always best to show the character in action.

Be Brilliant!

~Katie~

P.S. This strategy isn't only limited to fiction. I tell my composition and non-fiction students that any introduction they write to their essays should serve as a placeholder only. After the piece is written, they should delete the intro and start over from scratch. 

The first attempt at anything is mediocre, at best.

Good writing is good revising.   

On Changing Lives

As writers, we want our work to resonate with readers. We hope our stories will change someone's life in some small way. 

But when we think of writers both current and past, there is often THAT WORK--the one they are known for. We sometimes forget about their other works, and not necessarily because they aren't up to the same literary standard.

When we think of George Orwell, for instance, we imagine Animal Farm or Nineteen Eighty-Four.

But there was also Burmese Days and A Clergyman's Daughter and Coming up for Air.

When I think of Orwell, my mind heads straight to one of his personal essays: "Shooting an Elephant."

As writers, we should want to tell a story that changes the reader. This is something we should, in fact, strive for. It's a lofty and ambitious (and worthy) goal. 

But not every work will resonate with readers in the same way and to the same degree.

In these instances, it's enough having written the work at all, whether it eclipses your previous (or latter) efforts or languishes in the background.

It's enough (and so are you).

Be Brilliant!

~Katie~ 

Don't Be A Hoarder

“One of the few things I know about writing is this: 

spend it all, shoot it, play it, lose it, all, right away, every time. 

Do not hoard what seems good for a later place in the book, 

or for another book; 

give it, give it all, give it now. 

The impulse to save something good for a better place later 

is the signal to send it now. 

Something more will arise for later, something better. 

These things fill from behind, from beneath, like well water. 

Similarly, the impulse to keep to yourself what you have learned 

is not only shameful, it is destructive. 

Anything you do not give freely and abundantly becomes lost to you. 

You open your safe and find ashes.”

~Annie Dillard~

Don't hoard your writing. Don't save a pithy line or an insightful observation for another story. Don't save "the best" for later.

"Later" might never come. 

Instead, give your all in the moment, within the story that's in front of you.  

And, as always. . . .

Be Brilliant!

~Katie~