White Room Syndrome

White Room Syndrome.

I'll be honest: this is a relatively new writing term to enter my vocabulary, though when I Googled this idea blog posts came up from more than a decade ago. (Go figure.)

It makes perfect sense, though.

When a scene doesn't include enough description to paint a clear picture in the reader's mind, it's as if the character is standing in a white room--they could be anywhere (floating in space, for all we know). 

With White Room Syndrome there's some action occurring, but the text is mostly dialogue, with zero sense of place.

When we're writing, we have to remember that the reader doesn't know what we know. We might have a clear mental image of our story backdrop, but our reader doesn't. Not until we impart the details. 

So how can we avoid White Room Syndrome? 

Think about where the story is taking place. Think about the time period. Think about the mood you're trying to establish within the reader. 

Then, consider pulling the character out of the setting and freewriting a page of nothing but the physical details of the location. Once this is complete, try to merge the action into the setting, thinking about what your character is seeing and hearing as they act and react. 

When writing, try to use all of your senses. Describe what someone might see, smell, taste, hear, and feel in the scene.

For example, what does the sky smell like on a hot summer day? What does it sound like when you're walking through a forest in the early morning? What does it feel like when you're holding hands with someone you love?

(Here's more on description, and here's a strategy I like to use.)

One caveat: don't overdo it. The reader doesn't need to know every single detail, just what's important to the story. It only takes a few key facts to establish a sense of place and ground the reader. 

White Room Syndrome is something you will likely address in a later draft. When the words are flowing (the dialogue always arrives the quickest for me) just focus on getting them onto the page. You can come back later to flesh out your scenes and descriptions.  

But to avoid "White Room Syndrome," the reader needs to be able to visualize the setting. They need to have that sense of what it might feel like if they were there.

It's the fastest way to a lasting impression. 

Be Brilliant!

~Katie~

The Truth is in the Details

What makes the reader suspend disbelief and lose himself in the story you're telling? 

The details.

Not too many details, but just the right amount.

A single detail, in fact, can tell us more about a character than a lengthy paragraph. 

What kind of details, you ask? The particulars. Something interesting that might otherwise be overlooked. Little clues that offer insight into who your character is, what she enjoys, or the trials he may have faced.

That glass clock on the mantle--a 25-year service award from his company? A detail.

The crucifix above the grandmother's window? A detail.

The colored pencils scattered on the floor by her bed? A detail.

We can assume a lot about a character through these strategic descriptions, even if we don't fully know them yet.

Stories are built on little details.

Make them count.

Be Brilliant!

~Katie~ 

The Secret to Showing (Not Telling)--Part Two

In my last post, I talked about one of the secrets to showing (not telling) in your novels. Of course, there's a time and place for telling, so it's not something to avoid completely, but if your prose needs that extra "pop" to draw in readers, not only should you make sure you're writing in the active (not passive) voice, but that you're using precise, vivid words. 

When we're writing a first draft, the goal is to get the story onto paper. Sometimes this means crafting the "skeleton" of a scene. After all, if we focus too much on sentence structure and word choice in a first attempt, we might paralyze ourselves into a corner. 

No one writes a perfect book on the first go-round.

At some point during the revision process, though, we need to look at every sentence--every word--to make sure it's as descriptive as possible. 

Is there a better way to phrase this?

Is there a more descriptive word I can use?

The tendency for beginning writers is to pair adverbs with verbs to strengthen them (i.e. he walked slowly). But why not use a stronger word? "Ambled" might work better here, or "meandered" or "drifted." Each of these words paints a different picture of the person doing the walking and the deeper meaning behind it. 

And not only should we incorporate strong verbs and nouns into our writing (avoiding adverbs as much as we can), but we should also make our descriptions as specific as possible.

It's not just a swing, but a tire swing, fastened to a tree with rope that's dry-rotted from years in the sun and rain. And not just any tree, but a pear tree planted by the couple who built the house more than a hundred years before.

The stronger the details, the more likely you'll keep the reader's attention.

And to ensure those readers aren't going to become lost in extended, flowery prose, keep Strunk and White's advice in mind:

precision, with concision

Meaning: be as specific as possible using the fewest words necessary to tell the story.

And always . . .

Be Brilliant!

~Katie~ 

The Secret to Showing (Not Telling)--Part One

"Show! Don't Tell."

It's one of the most oft-uttered phrases in writing history. I've heard it. I've said it. But what does it actually mean to "show," and how do we know when we're "telling"?

Secret #1 lies in the verbs we use.

"Showing sentences" use the active voice.

"Telling sentences" use the passive voice.

A passive construction often contains the following formula: "to be" + past participle (or the "ed" verb).

For example: 

     The movie has been watched by the friends over a dozen times. (passive construction)

     The painting was completed by Charlotte. (passive construction) 

How could we fix these to make them active? By re-arranging the words so that the person or thing is doing the action (not having the action done to them).

     The friends watched the movie more than a dozen times. (active construction)

     Charlotte completed the painting. (active construction)

How do we locate passive sentences in our writing?

First, we should isolate the sentence. Then, we need to determine what's happening in the sentence and decide if an action is taking place. If so, we need to decide if the action is being done to the person or thing, or if the person/thing is doing the action. If the sentence is passive, then it's just a matter of rearranging the subject and verb. 

Is every "be" or "have" sentence passive? No. It depends on how the verb is being used in the sentence, so don't think every am, is, are, was, were, be, being, been, have, has, had needs to be cut from a manuscript. Some of them are important and even necessary.

Just pay careful attention to the action taking place in your sentence. The more "active" the sentence is, the closer you are to "showing."

Be Brilliant!

~Katie~