Friday, October 2, 2015


So sorry for the radio silence!

There's actually some family member drama that's eating away at my spare time (what little I have). You know how that is, right? :)

I do want to pass this blog post from Seth Godin on, though (love him!). It's all about failure.

The key takeaway:

"Stop engaging with the false theory that the best way to stop feeling like a failure is to succeed. Thinking of one's self as a failure is not the same as failing. And thus, succeeding (on this particular task) is not the antidote." 

Be Brilliant!


Friday, September 18, 2015

On Being Mom to a Toddler

I think 95% of being a mom to a toddler is:

     1) keeping him from hurting himself

     2) keeping him from destroying the house

     3) throwing away wet paper towels from the messes he makes

The other 5%? 

     1) hugs

     2) kisses

     3) nap time 

It's the 5% we hang on to, folks. Am I right? 


Tuesday, September 15, 2015

What Should I Do with the Rest of my Life?

On two separate occasions last week I was asked about life plans and the future (once from a writer friend and the other from a student), and I thought I would share some of the thoughts I offered to them publicly.

The question was:

What do I do with the rest of my life? Or . . . how do I know what I should be when I "grow up"? 

First of all, when my parents were coming along (Baby Boomers), they watched their parents enter one career field and stay with it their whole lives. Many of them tried to do the same, to varying degrees of success. We are not living in a Baby Boomer world, and I've read that, on average, the student coming of age right now will change careers about three times in his/her lifetime.

And yes, this sounds scary, but I also think it can be a good thing--that it's a sign of growth and development. I am not the same person at thirty-three that I was at eighteen (thank goodness!). I've grown. I have new ideas and beliefs. The core is still there. I'm still very much me, just Me 2.0 (or even 3 or 4.0). I definitely feel like improvements have been made in those new versions. Upgrades, if you will.

So it goes without saying that what was right for me at eighteen might not be right for me at this point in my life

But that doesn't mean everything I did at eighteen was a waste. No. I needed to pass through that stage to get where I am now. It was a crucial part of the process.

So . . . how do you know what to do with the rest of your life?

First, don't think of it as the "rest of your life." Think of it as today. Right now. In this moment.

And what I've learned is that the most fulfilled people I know are using their gifts, in this moment, in service to others.

They're taking their talents and using them to give back to the world. The same is true for the artists and writers I know, and the accountants and administrative assistants. They're creating those images and writing stories that speak to others. They're handling paperwork so that the customer's lives will be a little easier. They're crunching numbers so that the business owner can concentrate on what he/she is good at: making and selling the product.

As you learn and grow, you may develop new talents and find other interests. That's when you adapt. Try new things. Make mistakes.

So if you're in a flux and you're not sure where you want to be or what you need to do, think about your talents. Think about what makes you happy. Think about a gift you have that only YOU can offer the world. Look for areas in your life and community to use these talents. And, if something isn't working, know that it's okay to re-evaluate your situation and goals and make changes. 

It's okay to "fail."

It's okay to start over.

At the end of the day, you are responsible for your own happiness and well-being. The idea of "what do I want to do with my life?" is ever-evolving, and this is a really, really great thing.

Be Brilliant!


Saturday, August 29, 2015

On Sale!


Okay, so to be perfectly honest, I was only going to keep CMH on sale for the weekend. 

But then the school week happened, and I kept forgetting to change the price back. 

No one's loss, really. ;)

So I'm going to leave the book on sale for a little while longer.

Also, if you have time, stop by the Indelibles' blog and check out the Hot New Releases!


To make up for my radio silence these past few weeks:

On Sale!

This weekend only!

Grab a copy and tell a friend.

And thanks for hanging out with me. 

Always. :D

Tuesday, August 11, 2015

On . . . Tidying?

I'm reading a LOT of non-fiction this year. I'm actually working my way through Marie Kondo's The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing

I'm loving the idea that we should only keep things that "spark joy," and that, once an item serves its purpose (even if that purpose was to show you that you didn't like/want/need it after all), it's good to let it go. It wants to be let go.

Sounds crazy to our Western ears, but it's making perfect sense.

And I actually organized our underwear and t-shirt drawers yesterday, so . . . progress. And then the 10yo saw and wanted to organize HER socks and underwear, and now she wants to read the book behind me (I'm halfway through).

This just might be the best eleven bucks I've ever spent. 

*fingers crossed*

Five stars, and it's not even over.


Friday, July 31, 2015

On Forgiveness

My mom was a latchkey kid of the late sixties/early seventies. A Navy brat. She practically raised her younger sister.

I still think they're bitter about this.

Because a comment was made the other day--about the narcissism of my grandmother--how it was always about her. And, if it wasn't, she would find a way to make it about her. Family always came second (or third, or fourth).

She passed away a couple of years ago. Cancer, ultimately. But my mom was there. All the way to the end.

So her tone and the narcissism comment surprised me. And I was reminded of the saying:

Not forgiving is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.

Forgiveness isn't condoning the behavior or the actions, but choosing to let go. 

I think we're all doing the best we can with the information we have and who we are at the time. And we are each a product of the generation before us. 

I communicate with my daughter (probably to a fault). Explain and discuss and explore because I never felt comfortable enough to talk to my own mother about things.

My mother watched her mom work and work and work--put family second--for a mediocre job. Limited resources. If family is going to come second, the job should be worth it. Education became super-important to her.

My grandmother grew up in a world where women had few choices. She would never depend solely on a man. She ran away from my great grandmother, would take that job, make it her life.

I wonder what my great grandmother was running from. 

And her mother. 

Doing the best she could with the information she had and who she was at the time, I guess.

I wonder what my daughter will over-compensate for in her own life.

Whatever it is, I'm not drinking the poison, and I hope she doesn't, either.


Monday, July 20, 2015

On Peace

Our landscaping in the backyard was looking pretty pathetic. Not a priority at all, really, as grasses and tiny trees and thick, hollow weed-stalks took over the spaces between shrubbery.

So on Saturday as a thunderstorm rolled in--skies gray and wind gusting--I stepped outside, donned a pair of gloves, found hands and knees, and started pulling. 

It was hot and humid, but the breeze was glorious--ruffling leaves. So was the thunder in the distance.

And the first raindrop felt cool against my skin.

So I kept working.

Until the lightning was too close for comfort and my shirt was drenched, I worked. Then I watched the storm from the porch--the wind and the rain and the trees....

It's no coincidence that rain is often a symbol in literature.

A symbol of cleansing--of washing away.

Starting over.

It felt like the culmination of everything I've worked for this past year--to understand the world a little better, to understand myself better, to be a better me.

I've been thinking about something a student of mine recently said, about not searching the world for that thing that "completes" you. Because, outside of you, there is nothing that can complete you.

Only YOU can complete you.

We are both Yin AND Yang.

And I'm okay with this. At least, I'm learning to be.

Be Brilliant!