I post quite a bit about character development and plot on this blog because these are critical factors in whether or not a book is believable, enjoyable, etc.
However, language--or how your story is told--is also v. important.
I'm reading a novel right now at the behest of my sister-in-law, who thrust the book at me last weekend and said: "This book is awful. Read it so we can discuss."
*sigh*
I know how hard writers work at their craft and how difficult it is to tell a story that resonates, so I was really hesitant to go into this book with the pre-conceived idea that it Just Doesn't Work. It did, after all, go through an agent and editors and was published by a reputable publisher. It can be grabbed from the shelves of any major retailer as of this writing, and a quick check of the reviews shows that it did, in fact, resonate with *some* people.
(Don't try to guess which book it is. It will not show up on my Goodreads list.) ;)
At any rate, there are, in fact, problems with plot, character development, and telling over showing (also: SO MANY coincidences), but one of the main problems is the language.
This is a historical novel set near the turn of the 20th century. The main characters are European. For discussion's sake, let's pretend they're Italian (they aren't).
The issues with the language are numerous.
First, the characters don't really sound Italian. Every so often the writer will toss in an italicized Italian word or phrase, or will insert some English-Italian slang; otherwise, the "voice" just isn't there. This means those words and phrases also tend to draw unnecessary attention to themselves. A few, in particular, are repeated ad nauseam. Every time I see one it's: "Oh, yeah. These characters are Italian." This is usually followed by: "Why do they say this word so much?"
The next problem is that these Italian speakers don't sound like they're from the turn of the 20th century. In one instance, a girl says "totally." Maybe they used this word back then--I don't know--but because it's so common today, it's a bit jarring to see it in a historical work. To some degree, I do expect a historical piece to have a more elevated and formal style of writing (which this story does, in fact, call for).
There are also trite/overused expressions and cliches that don't seem to fit the historical/Italian vibe, either.
Every few pages I'm being pulled from the story. I can't fully immerse or lose myself in the narration because the language keeps calling attention to itself because it feels so unnatural.
So, writer friends:
How is your story's message communicated?
Is it believable? Is it convincing?
Every language and culture has its own nuances, and the dialogue and prose need to sound *exactly* right for maximum believability. The voice of a regency romance should not mirror a contemporary one. A story set in the American South should not sound like a story set on the streets of London.
And we can go further: a story set in Georgia (American South) should not read exactly like a story set in Mississippi (also American South).
Plot and character development are important, but so is language: the dialogue, the word choice, the turns of phrasing.
What does this mean for writers?
It's important for us to do our research. Every word on the page should reflect the period, location, and genre in which we are writing.
Read, revise, read again, revise, read out loud, and, when the words stop making sense, enlist the help of a beta reader or two. They should be able to pinpoint any places where the tone, phrasing, conversation, etc. don't quite match their intention.
And always. . . .
Be Brilliant!
~Katie~
