How many times have you lost yourself in a passage of dialogue in a book, then had to stop and go back a few lines because suddenly you had no idea who was talking?
Without proper dialogue tags, it can be easy to lose track of who is speaking, especially if three or more characters are in conversation.
To help, here are my three best tips for incorporating dialogue tags into your scenes.
1) Keep them simple.
He said. She said. Margaret said. Tom said.
That's all you need.
Beginning writers who want to spruce up their writing sometimes err in amplifying their dialogue tags. Suddenly Margaret is chortling or arguing or remarking or coaxing and Tom is commanding or imploring or quipping or jeering.
Are any of these descriptors "bad" in and of themselves? No. They are actually effective at painting a more specific image in the reader's mind.
The problem lies in turning every tag into one of these. Do this, and you're going to wear your reader out. Save these tags for special occasions, and limit them to a few per chapter.
This also applies to adding adverb qualifiers to your tags.
She said hastily. He said menacingly. Margaret implored questioningly. Tom admonished very hatefully.
Bottom line: Don't overdo your tags.
2) Vary their location.
"I'm hot," Margaret said.
"Go sit in front of the fan," Tom said.
"I tried that already," Margaret said.
"Well, I don't know what to tell you then. We're all hot," Tom said.
When you use a dialogue tag in the same place in every sentence, the conversation begins to sound repetitious, and readers notice the pattern. Writers use "said" as the key tag because it tends to disappear on the page, but the ones used in the above example call attention to themselves so that we're focused on who is saying rather than what they're saying.
3. Use descriptions as tags.
If you play your phrasing right, you'll reduce the number of dialogue tags you actually need. Telling us what your character is doing is a great way to signal who's speaking.
Here's an example from All I Never Needed.
Three people are in conversation: Mac, River, and Harley, and there's a mix of "said" and other variations, descriptions as tags, and locations of the tags.
But before she could even answer there was Mac, striding toward us.
“Hey, Harley, some of us are about to head to my place. My parents are gone for the weekend and my sister is at a concert in Hamilton with some friends. You should totally come with.”
“Oh. Thanks, but my dad is expecting me home by eleven, so. . . .” She trailed off, allowing him to make the appropriate connections.
“You don’t have to stay the whole time. Just a quick drop-in,” he said. “I can give you directions. It’s not far from here.”
Harley scratched an itch on her ankle. “Thanks, but I really do have to get home soon.”
He smiled his million-dollar smile—his “I’m not taking ‘no’ for an answer” smile, an “I always get what I want” smile. Harley picked up on this, too, and the spell of the alcohol snapped—the transition from relaxed to “on full alert” almost immediate.
“Come on. We have the whole basement set up. Pool table, ping pong, darts, a full bar. It’ll blow your mind.”
I forced my eyes not to roll. “Jesus,” I muttered. “She’s saying no, Mac.”
“No way. We’re having a blast,” he said. “And it’s not even eleven.”
“That’s not the point,” I said.
He turned to me. “What, are you her mouthpiece or something? You speak for her now?”
“I speak for her when you’re too obtuse to recognize that she’s politely refused you twice already.”
He laughed. “Oh, I’m sorry, River. I didn’t realize you’d already laid claim.”
Something burned beneath my skin, my face growing hotter as I climbed off the picnic table and stood to look him in the eye. “Again, not the point, MacKenzie.”
“Look, I get it. If you two are going on just say so. Otherwise, back the *&#$ off.”
So there you are: three ways to fix your dialogue tags. This isn't something I recommend worrying too much about during the drafting stage--it's important to get the words on the paper as quickly as possible--but during an early editing round.
If you're like me and tend toward distraction when you're editing, use the "find" feature to highlight the word "said." This may help you stay focused on the conversation, what tags are being used, where tags are being used, and if there's enough activity taking place between the snippets of dialogue.
As always:
Be Brilliant!
~Katie~
