Warning: Honesty Ahead
Release weeks stress me out.
Promotion stresses me out.
Tweeting "buy my books!" stresses me out.
Why? It feels too much like a whistle in a hurricane. A shout into the void. There's so much *white noise* that I don't even know where to begin to make myself stand out in the crowd.
I get that it's a necessary part of #indie authoring, but I hate begging. I feel like I'm bothering people. (Buy! Share! Re-Tweet! Review!) I feel like *that* author, and I don't want to be. I also don't have the marketing budget or audience to gain any kind of traction in such a saturated marketplace, though I'm *so* thankful for the few cheerleaders I do have and can always count on to help spread the word.
In full disclosure, this is what my indie career looks like (according to Amazon, at least):
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*sigh*
I miss August 2012 the most, where I sold over 4,500 units . . . but some things in this world are just beyond my control.
What do I have control of?
Writing.
So . . . I wasn't quite sure where I wanted to go after ALL I NEVER WANTED.
I've slowly come to realize that I'm not as passionate about YA literature today as I was in the past, and I wondered if this meant it was time to spread my wings and try something new.
I still don't know, actually.
But I do know that on Friday I opened up a file on a story I'd plotted a couple of years ago. I know the characters, the setting, what's going to happen--it's all there laid out for me.
I just went in to take a look, but I saw in one document that I'd already written a first line.
The wheels began turning, and almost immediately I had a first paragraph. Then I had a first page.
I don't quite recognize this voice. It's still me, but different. More grown up, maybe?
I don't know. I don't know how this book is going to turn out or where it's going to fit into the market or if I should even care about the market at all.
I'm writing again.
And it feels so, so good.
At the end of the day, I love what I do--it still brings me joy. Sure, my audience isn't as big today as it was in the past. The truth is that I might have "peaked" with CROSS MY HEART. But there are a few of you out there, and you've not hesitated to tell me that my stories still bring you joy (and move you to tears).
A small difference, but a difference nonetheless.
Someone out there, when asked who their favorite author is, just might say "Katie Klein."
And, in this industry, it seems selfish to ask for anything more than that.
Be Brilliant!
~Katie~
