The Secret to Showing (Not Telling)--Part Two

In my last post, I talked about one of the secrets to showing (not telling) in your novels. Of course, there's a time and place for telling, so it's not something to avoid completely, but if your prose needs that extra "pop" to draw in readers, not only should you make sure you're writing in the active (not passive) voice, but that you're using precise, vivid words. 

When we're writing a first draft, the goal is to get the story onto paper. Sometimes this means crafting the "skeleton" of a scene. After all, if we focus too much on sentence structure and word choice in a first attempt, we might paralyze ourselves into a corner. 

No one writes a perfect book on the first go-round.

At some point during the revision process, though, we need to look at every sentence--every word--to make sure it's as descriptive as possible. 

Is there a better way to phrase this?

Is there a more descriptive word I can use?

The tendency for beginning writers is to pair adverbs with verbs to strengthen them (i.e. he walked slowly). But why not use a stronger word? "Ambled" might work better here, or "meandered" or "drifted." Each of these words paints a different picture of the person doing the walking and the deeper meaning behind it. 

And not only should we incorporate strong verbs and nouns into our writing (avoiding adverbs as much as we can), but we should also make our descriptions as specific as possible.

It's not just a swing, but a tire swing, fastened to a tree with rope that's dry-rotted from years in the sun and rain. And not just any tree, but a pear tree planted by the couple who built the house more than a hundred years before.

The stronger the details, the more likely you'll keep the reader's attention.

And to ensure those readers aren't going to become lost in extended, flowery prose, keep Strunk and White's advice in mind:

precision, with concision

Meaning: be as specific as possible using the fewest words necessary to tell the story.

And always . . .

Be Brilliant!

~Katie~ 

The Secret to Showing (Not Telling)--Part One

"Show! Don't Tell."

It's one of the most oft-uttered phrases in writing history. I've heard it. I've said it. But what does it actually mean to "show," and how do we know when we're "telling"?

Secret #1 lies in the verbs we use.

"Showing sentences" use the active voice.

"Telling sentences" use the passive voice.

A passive construction often contains the following formula: "to be" + past participle (or the "ed" verb).

For example: 

     The movie has been watched by the friends over a dozen times. (passive construction)

     The painting was completed by Charlotte. (passive construction) 

How could we fix these to make them active? By re-arranging the words so that the person or thing is doing the action (not having the action done to them).

     The friends watched the movie more than a dozen times. (active construction)

     Charlotte completed the painting. (active construction)

How do we locate passive sentences in our writing?

First, we should isolate the sentence. Then, we need to determine what's happening in the sentence and decide if an action is taking place. If so, we need to decide if the action is being done to the person or thing, or if the person/thing is doing the action. If the sentence is passive, then it's just a matter of rearranging the subject and verb. 

Is every "be" or "have" sentence passive? No. It depends on how the verb is being used in the sentence, so don't think every am, is, are, was, were, be, being, been, have, has, had needs to be cut from a manuscript. Some of them are important and even necessary.

Just pay careful attention to the action taking place in your sentence. The more "active" the sentence is, the closer you are to "showing."

Be Brilliant!

~Katie~   

On Unpredictability

At the end of your novel, all of the various conflicts (inner and outer) and plot points will come to a head and (hopefully) resolve themselves in a satisfying way. 

This is our job as writers, after all, and what the reader expects when he or she takes on one of our stories.

It's important, however, that the plot stays unpredictable up until the final pages. Success doesn't come easily in the real world, and as much as we'd like to keep our characters safe, it shouldn't come easily in our fictional worlds, either. 

Keep the reader guessing until the very last moment; the longer it appears your main character will fail, the more invested the reader will be. 

Be Brilliant!

~Katie~

On Plot Deviations

Whether you're weaving subplots into your fiction, setting up a problem, or incorporating backstory to provide context, the main plot line of your story should never be too far away.

Your main plot line is what drives the story forward, and any deviation from that line has the potential to stall your reader. And while it seems like the opposite would occur--moving away from the story would build tension and entice the reader to keep reading to find out what's going to happen--when the story shifts, moving away from the key tension, you're giving your reader the perfect opportunity to insert the bookmark, fold the page, change screens, set your book aside.

No matter the "extras" you're weaving into your story, make sure the main line is never more than a scene away. 

Be Brilliant!

~Katie~